Author's Note: Character-Kyle who has recently graduated high school. Setting-Sense Chin-chin's Dojo. Conflict- The moisturizer is running out! These are the topics I was assigned to write an intro on that would pull a reader in.
Have you ever noticed that on the faces, arms, necks, and chins of the elderly lies a jungle of wrinkles? Dry, cracked skin folding over itself adding irritation to the lives of older men and women. Sense Chin-chin had a stressed life as it was, but reaching 49 soon, he didn't need pesky wrinkles finding themselves a way into his life. His only solution from stopping the skin was moisturizer. He applied it twice a day to ensure that the wrinkles didn't take over his entire life.
I love "jungle of wrinkles" as imagery! You have a very good use of word choice. The set-up of your hook offers great context, but consider a way to end your introduction with something that leaves the reader asking, "what happens next?" What you actually have right now is closer to something called a "vignette," which is a short, complete descriptive piece. Ask yourself how this description could lead into a story.
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